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Review written 4/13/26
The Mortuary Assistant
This was one of the biggest waste of 90 minutes I’ve ever seen, and no offense to the cast and crew, but woof. I wouldn’t be surprised if this whole thing was made with generative AI. I’ve never played the game it’s based on, though I’ve watched clips of people playing it. Either way, this sucks in about every sense, other than the makeup and gore, and the design of the creepy downstairs gollum guy. The acting is phenomenally bad, the story was written by an unborn child, and it wasn’t remotely interesting in the slightest. That’s all I feel like saying, because I feel so utterly grossed out by this film, and not in a grotesque way. More of a “I want to burn every frame of this film out of my memory because of how irredeemably bad it is” kind of way. Don’t watch it, even if you love the game.
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