Noah (2014)

Noah

• Yeah, I think I’ll pass on this one. There are some great biblical films out there, such as ‘The Passion of the Christ’ or ‘The Last Temptation of Christ’. Maybe those are so great because Jesus is in them. This one, however, felt very fluffy. What I mean by “fluffy” is that between all the genuinely good moments, the story and characters feel like fluff, barely holding this together. It just felt so freaking long, and was very hard to get through. There was a lot of useless drama that didn’t really need to be added, such as Emma Watson’s randomly invented character. I’m all for directors/writers doing “alternate” takes on history, or something along those lines, but this one didn’t work out. There are some awesome moments, such as the flood and all the people dying, which was pretty depressing but weirdly cool. But there wasn’t a whole lot else that was memorable. The performances are average at best. Russell Crowe is physically memorable as Noah, but character-wise, nobody was good. The visual effects were solid at times, but also very noticeable. But it’s cool how they did have a life sized ark that they built, there’s at least some authenticity. I don’t have a whole lot more to say, so overall, it’s a sloppy and boring film that doesn’t have much Aronofsky touch. It should’ve been a 90 minute film, and if it was, it would’ve been a lot better. I probably wouldn’t recommend it.